Disregard my last post. I am sleeping horribly. HORRIBLY. I don't know what the meds are doing but I do know that I haven't slept since before Ben had pneumonia. I feel like I am in the darkest and deepest hole. My eyes are constantly burning, my head feels perpetually cloudy and I can't articulate anything clearly. I am exhausted.
I toyed with the idea today, briefly, of going into the ER with a migraine complaint just so I could get a shot of Demerol and sleep for 10 hours. I still may do it. I did talk with my doctor on Friday night. Or rather, she talked while I cried. The solution she gave me wasn't successful.
Something has shifted over the last two weeks. The pace of the thoughts that run through my head has quickened significantly. As bedtime draws closer, I feel more and more anxious. My body feels like it's in a constant flight or fight mode. I don't like it. Any of it.
This week, I'm giving a speech one evening on wellness. I have a full client load and an extra yoga class to teach. I have a date. I have an exclusive birthday event to attend. And I have an acute attack of tendonitis in my ankle again. I'm hoping and praying that my mind can find some peace soon. There has to be an answer to this sleep mystery. There just has to be.
About Me
- Janeen T, aka: Ben's Mommy
- I'm a single mom in Sacramento. I tell my stories here. My son will read this someday (yikes?). I hope my love for him shines through these entries. I own a small Pilates business. I specialize in rehab and injuries. My studio is pink. I don't sleep as much as I should. I once had a corporate career in marketing. My first job was at Carnegie Hall. I love to read. I love to read to my son. My sister and my best friend know my biggest secrets, my deepest fears. People tell me that I have a lot of compassion and warmth. I believe in God, in miracles and in forgiveness. When I'm laughing, the world is a perfect place. Someday, I want to live in a place that I love. The time that I spend with my son is passing by too quickly. Music can simultaneously warm and break my heart. I think that romantic relationships hinge completely on timing. If I don't start my day immediately with coffee, life is rather hellish. Heaven on Earth is Costa Rica. Or Makawoao. I have four adopted siblings and a deep appreciation for third world countries. I am completely honest. There is enough mystery in life. I prefer transparency.