Saturday

I am surrounded by files. And paper.

When you run a household AND you run a small business, it becomes virtually impossible to maintain a system that works neatly and easily. I am on a mission to find such a system. And after three days of creating tabs and stickies and bundles of receipts, I think I'm closing in on the job.

This morning, I taught two back-to-back group Reformer classes. Gosh, those are hard to teach. Lifeguarding five bodies on five intricate machines, while keeping the energy and the momentum going is a challenge. I didn't exercise at all; yet I was spent when I left the gym.

I then went on a wild goose chase to find a specialized amino acid for myself and a specialized calling card for my ex. I can't sleep and he can't call. My chase took me on a huge loop of Arden Arcade, ending at a salon with the word "Charm" in the name (and full of blond Russian stylists!) to have a little talk therapy session with my BFF and her stylist.

From there, it was a mad dash home to get out of my workout clothes, contemplate a shower, veto the shower, and throw on nice jeans and a sweater for Saturday night services.

Is everyone trying to get me to cry this week?

I love the Dean of our church; he is so young, energetic and candid. He is holy. I bask in his spiritual presence. It is good stuff.

He opened his "message" tonight with a gut-wrenching story of a couple who were together for 25 years. They divorced and lived apart for another 20, then the husband got sick and moved back in with the wife so that she could care for him (neither had ever re-married) and before he died, they were married again by our Dean. I'm leaving out many more details of the story. Suffice to say, the tears were running down my face.

Meanwhile, my own ex is having his own trip down memory lane and I'm getting the all the sentiment via email. Because the calling card is out of minutes. Because he realized how much he screwed up and how good we could have been together. Because it's Valentine's Day tomorrow. Because he visited Capri today; a place that we longed to go to together - a place that was depicted in the first piece of art we purchased together. Because it's just that kind of week.

I killed a few brain cells by watching several episodes of "Californication." I could have killed more by going out with my friends who are out celebrating Second Saturday right now but I just didn't have the energy.

It's 6am in Italy and Ben is headed to Pompei with Kevin. Hopefully whatever glitch is connected with the transfer of my email messages will resolve overnight and Kevin will be able to retrieve the calling card info. I'd love to talk to Ben on Valentine's Day - that's all I need.