Scoop

Facebook strikes again.

I can't blog about this topic over at my "public" blog, yet I have to write SOMETHING about it so for the few people who read this, you're about to be let in on a really big secret.

Everyone knows that I'm seriously addicted to Facebook. I think it has something to do with not being popular in high school and now trying to get all the validation I can, even if it's the virtual validation and only validating in the sense that I can get almost anyone to be my friend. Uh, yeah, you just read it "validate" three times. Issues, I know.

I'm checking every one's status yesterday and I get a little suggestion by Facebook to add someone that I went to junior high school with. My heart jumps into my throat and my knees get really weak when I see that the someone Facebook is trying to link me up with is none other than the crush that I had from Grade 7 to Grade 12. I think I even carried the torch for this guy into my college years because every time I would run into someone from his high school, I'd inquire as to what he was up to.

To make matters worse, his mother was my English teacher in junior high and I seriously loved her. She gave me so many great tips on writing and was a constant source of encouragement. I had junior high school daydreams of marrying the crush (let's call him Jay; no Kirsten, this is not your Jay, don't worry!) and having his mother for a mother-in-law. Living in my own little daydreamy world was my constant source of entertainment since I didn't have a lot of luck with breaking into the cliques that I thought were so cool.

After junior high, we went our separate ways to high school. I never did anything about the whole crush, other than to make sure that our daily routes to and from classes would cross as much as possible. I didn't even divulge much to my small circle of friends. I had it bad.

I'm not ashamed to admit that as recent as five or six years ago, I searched for Jay's name on Classmates.com. I didn't find it and I gave up. Then along came Facebook.

I decided to send a Friend Request to him. He confirmed the request a day later and then, presto, we were friends. As soon as I got the notification of his confirmation of our Facebook friend status, I hopped right on the computer to check out his profile. HOLY SHIT. He's in Sacramento?

Facebook should be called "Open Book" because if you want to know something about someone, it's probably right there on their Wall. Like the fact that Jay worked with a very good girlfriend of mine two years ago. Same company, same department very likely. Or the mere idea that Jay works out at the same club that I teach at. And eats at my favorite downtown restaurant.

Now the one pertinent fact, that I'm sure you're wondering about at this point, is his marital status which to me, is very unclear. I distinctly remember telling Facebook that I was "single" and I see friends who have relationship status updates all the time but I don't see anything on his profile that indicates his availability. There are some pictures, however, but again, unclear as to the status of the relationship.

After 23 freaking years, no way was I going to sit on this and just be a confirmed friend. So I sent him a note, telling him that he probably knows my girlfriend and I also told him that his mother was one of the best teachers I've ever had (which is absolutely true). I also mentioned, as a "hey, by the way" that I had a big crush on him and isn't it fun and flattering to find these things out later in life?

I got a pretty quick and detailed reply. With a suggestion to meet and catch up.

Sometimes I wonder about fate and serendipity and God and the master plan. Times like these, for sure. Here I am - a grown up 38-year-old, single mom - trying to responsibly navigate the planet and do the best work that I can while I'm here - and then one single click on Facebook sends me straight back into junior high, feeling distracted, immature and...excited?

As I see it, there are several things to consider here. One, I'm dating a very nice guy who is in love with me. I think I love him too and I don't want to do anything that would hurt his feelings. He just might be the sweetest man who has ever been in my life. Two, who knows what Jay is thinking? For all I know, he could be very happily married and is flattered by my attention and simply wants to catch up on some of the stuff we talked about in our emails...a lot of "who's doing what" type of conversation. Innocent enough, right?

Damn that Facebook and all the suggestions and innuendos it throws our way. All I can say is that yes, we are having a drink later this month and that I have no idea if it's a good idea or not.

I'm sitting back and letting this one unfold.