Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Perfect

I had a two and a half hour session with a therapist this week. We focused directly on the triggers and the thoughts associated with my emotional eating. It was extremely insightful.

The therapist counsels from a Buddhist perspective. We talked at great length about the ego and how much the ego hates change. She stressed that it's important not to "freak the ego out" by introducing drastic change, such as, "I'm not going to eat unless I'm hungry, never again." Rather, she suggested adding TO my current thought patterns with such statements as, "It's OK to have this cookie, that cracker, whatever...but I'm going to pause for a moment, before eating the whole package, and check in to see what my ego really wants here." (By the way, she told me that I have a very "clever" ego which might seem like a compliment but in actuality, creates even more confusion between my thoughts and my actions.)

A huge "take away" for me was the notion that people can do whatever they want to soothe their ego. I'm quick to judge my mother, for instance, for watching too much television. But, as the therapist gently pointed out, "Who is doing a better job of self-soothing? Your mother? Watching television to self-soothe? Or you? Eating beyond what you need and feeling terrible about it?"

Hmmmmmmmm.

Lastly (and there were many points, but these were just what I had time to post now), I admitted to her that I sometimes, no, all the time, feel like I am unqualified to "teach" people about how to be healthy since I myself struggle so significantly with my own boundaries on eating. She reminded me, and this is something that I've always held near and dear to my heart, that I am indeed perfect as I am; that God does not create anything less than perfection.

It's very affirming to walk through the day thinking of yourself in the light of perfection. I've been trying "perfect" on all week and I kinda like how it makes me feel. Much less like eating, I can tell you that for sure.

1 comment:

  1. Sounds like an awesome session! Glad to hear you got so much out of it. Interesting about the self-soothing thing, and also about talking gently to your ego - I have to remember that one. I think I tend to shock my ego too.

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